Girl House (Movie Review)

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Canadian Horror movie Girl House hit the VOD lists on February 13, 2015. Co-produced by Trevor Matthews (Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer 2007, The Shrine 2010),  Cory Neal (Hatchet 2006, Frozen 2010), and Nick Gordon (Old West 2010) through Brookstreet Pictures Production Company, Girl House was co-directed by Matthews and Jon Knautz, who also worked with Matthews on Jack Brooks and The Shrine. A sophomoric effort by Gordon, who also penned the script, this straight up slasher stars Ali Cobrin (American Reunion 2012, Neighbors 2014), Adam DiMarco (R.L. Stine’s The Haunting Hour TV series 2011-2012, Radio Rebel 2012), Slaine (Gone Baby Gone 2007, The Town 2010), Alyson Bath (Bounty Hunters 2011, Evil Feed 2013), Elysia Roturu (Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules 2011, Finding Mrs. Claus 2012), Alice Hunter (The Rub 2009, On Empty 2010), and Chasty Ballesteros (Final Destination 5 2011, Cavemen 2013). Starting out on a budget of only one and a half million dollars, Girl House had the talented TomAndAndy (The Mothman Prophecies 2002, The Strangers 2008) on music  and Ben Belanger (House At the End of the Street 2012, X-Men: Days of Future Past 2014) on special effects.

Still from Girl House
Still from Girl House

Pretty, modest Kylie (Cobrin) finds herself in a pinch after her dad passed away a few months previous and left her mom with no way to pay Kylie’s college tuition. To help make ends meet, she secretly moves into Girl House, a full fledged mansion peppered with cameras that stream twenty-four hours a day to paying Internet clients. There is money to be had here, as the girls in Girl House cash in on commissions earned for any acts – sexual and otherwise – that bring in viewers. Gary (James Thomas), the handsome, wealthy proprietor behind what some consider live porn, insists that the house is secure. The girls are driven to and from the house in private town cars, dates are brought to the house blindfolded, the web server has twenty four hour IT protection with the most secure firewall available, the house itself is armored with keyless digital locks, and anyone lucky enough to follow one of the girls back to the hidden mansion finds themselves face to face with ex-military bodyguards. When she arrives, Kylie meets the other girls: lithe Kat (Hunter) and her girlfriend, Mia (Nicole Fox), sexy but jealous Devon (Bath), businessmen’s favorite Janet (Ballesteros) and resident dominatrix Heather (Rotaru).

Still from Girl House
Still from Girl House

When Kylie makes her web debut, her awkward innocence is a big attraction to many, including a huge and socially awkward computer technician who uses the screen name “Loverboy” (Slaine). Although Kylie is not nearly as comfortable baring her assets as the other girls, she seems to have things under control – going to school by day and chatting and dancing on her web cam at night. She even finds a love interest when former schoolmate, Ben (DiMarco), sees her on the site and hunts her down. The other girls think Loverboy is harmless, so Kylie thinks nothing of flirting with him across the wireless, and he lovingly sends her a picture of his unsmiling mug. One of the girls finds the picture and posts it on a house billboard as a joke, and when Loverboy sees it, his maniacal anger at the betrayal of his imaginary girlfriend, Kylie, knows no bounds. No hidden house, security system, or bodyguard can stop a lovelorn psychopath on a mission.

Still from Girl House
Still from Girl House

Girl House is a straight shot slasher, with no bells and whistles, twists, or turns. The characters are surprisingly likeable for a Horror movie, with DiMarco and Wesley MacInnes, who played Ben’s college roommate, acting standouts. There is not much for gore, but the abundance of naked breasts may make up for that for some. Although the premise, and last comment, make this movie seem like soft porn, it is normal compared to the average amount of sexual situations seen in most other Horror movies of this type. The action, once it begins, is intense, with the last forty minutes of the movie a non-stop, blood-soaked thrill ride. CrypticRock gives Girl House a 3 out of 5 stars.

Entertainment One Films
Entertainment One Films

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