March 13, 2018 Alien Swamp Beast (Movie Review)
Remember the days of Creature Features? Well, Writer and Director Robert Elkins attempts to bring them back in all their glory with his latest film, Alien Swamp Beast. Right away, you probably think 1982’s Swamp Thing or perhap 1984’s The Toxic Avenger, right? Well, Alien Swamp Beast may fall into that category by name alone.
Elkins, known for other low budget Horror flicks such as 2008’s Zombthology and 2014’s Zombie Isle, brings audience’s Alien Swamp Beast, a cross between Crime Drama, Horror, and Sci-Fi. Making its way to DVD on Tuesday, March 13, 2018 thanks to World Wide Multi Media, the film is a bit of a mishmash to say the least. Clocking in at around 1 hour and 15 minutes, it kicks off with Billy (David Jones) having breakfast with his Ma and Pa (David and Linda Witt) before setting out to find a fallen meteor from the night prior.
Billy, dressed in overalls, is a bit of half-wit, but seemingly harmless. His character, in a way, is extremely reminiscent of Stephen King’s Jordy Verrill in The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill segment of 1982’s Creepshow. In fact, Billy is a lot like Jordy, he is not too smart, but is extremely curious about a meteor he wants to find to get a ‘buttload of money.’ Meeting a girl (Allyssa Wheaton: Zombie Isle 2014, A Zombie Croc: Evil Has Been Summoned 2015) skipping school along his journey, unfortunately for Billy, like Creepshow’s Jordy, this fallen piece of space rock will be his undoing.
This alone is not a bad storyline, but, relatively quickly, the film loses focus, trying to do too much, introducing several subplots. In the process, several extremely drawn out and boring scenes follow. For example, the introduction to FBI Agent Alex Holland (Tony Jones) feels like an eternity of looking down a hallway and watching a Keurig brew a cup of coffee. Then there is the completely bizarre introduction of crime into the story when a bank robbery takes place somewhere across town. A group of misfits, the bank robberies offer little to the story as they set out to plan their escape into the woods.
Perhaps this little subplot is part of the way to bring Agent Holland into the story, although, why would an FBI agent be the first on the scene for a bank robbery? An attempt is made to explain a connection but comes across hazy. Nonetheless, Holland’s cage is rattled when a hot, young female agent named Emily Conners (Sara Bella: Love and Politics 2011, Killing Lincoln 2013) takes over the case, making Holland her sidekick. Again, you would think perhaps these two would strike some chemistry, but little is developed.
From here, scenes flip back and forth and all over the place in Alien Swamp Beast, making it a film that simply does not know what it wants to be. Is it a Horror movie? Is it a Crime Drama? Is it a Sci-Fi movie? Who knows, but it surely does drag a lot throughout its playtime. Granted, this is an ultra low budget film, but perhaps Elkins would have benefited from a smaller cast and less subplots. In fact, for only being just over an hour long, the film really seems to lack any pace at all.
Nonetheless, Alien Swamp Beast does have its cheesy charm and tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. That said, there is an audience for this type of film – low to no budget, silly dialogue, and an even more absurd storyline. It would be unfair to completely denounce Alien Swamp Beast as a terrible movie. To even the most avivid of Horror film fan, it may be difficult to get through, but for that rare individual which likes flicks that are so bad they are good, wander the woods to find the loveable, cuddly Alien Swamp Beast. For this, CrypticRock gives this movie 1.5 out of 5 stars.