December 8, 2020 Return To Splatter Farm (Movie Review)
If cheesy B-Horror films are your thing then you are in for treat with Return To Splatter Farm available available on DVD and Digital as of November 10, 2020 via Wild Eye Releasing.
Inspired by ’80s Slasher films, Return To Splatter Farm is a direct sequel to the 1987 cult classic Splatter Farm, directed by the Polonia Brothers – John and Mark. The original film was part of the direct-to-video movement in the ’80s where filmmakers could release films with limited resources and funds, delivering DIY films filled with gratuitous gore, nudity, and wacky plots and even wackier characters. Over thirty years later, this surprising sequel is no different; playing out like a student film project with balls-to-the-wall kills, bad acting, and an equally ridiculous plot.
The story picks up thirty years after the deaths that took place at the “Death Farm” in Pennsylvania, and bodies are once again beginning to pile up. A group of friends travel to the farm for a party after a young woman discovered she has inherited the property. But, of course, as soon as they arrive strange occurrences take place and the killing begins.
Adding to it all, original Director Mark Polonia (Lethal Nightmare 1991, Night Crawlers 1996) returns , working alongside Jeff Kirkendall (Night Therapy 1999, Halloween Horror Tales 2018). Unfortunately, Mark’s brother John, who worked alongside them for the original flick, passed away prematurely, however, his influence is still all over this film. That in mind, Kirkendall makes for a fun watch as the older, but still equally creepy, Jeremy character from the original flick.
Overall, Return To Splatter Farm is what it says it is so do not go in with high expectations. This is a film that knows exactly what it is and plays on that from beginning to end. From the moment we see the first two characters step on the screen with their over-dramatic reactions and cringeworthy dialogue you are quite aware of how the rest of the film is going to go. The cast are not particularly likeable, which can be typical for most Slasher films, so you are more than ecstatic to see them get picked off one-by-one, even if the kills look like they are straight out of a local haunted attraction.
With that being said, that is also part of its charm. For anyone that has ever put together a short film or worked at a haunted house, it is the homemade feel that really makes the kills what they are. You have the outrageous amount of fake blood splattered (no pun intended) all over the set, the close-ups of obviously fake guts and body parts which are all perfect in their own low-budget way. It is a nod to so many Horror classics that got that their start by utilizing locals and whatever they could find in their kitchen cabinets or local butcher shop to create something new.
Return To Splatter Farm is no masterpiece by any means, but it is not meant to be. In typical B-movie fashion, it has bad acting, messy kills, with cheesy dialogue. You do not have to watch Splatter Farm to understand this one, but if you have got an opening in your afternoon and want something that is so bad it is fun, this is for you. For these reasons, Cryptic Rock gives Return To Splatter Farm 2 out of 5 stars.