February 9, 2016 Ron White Takes No Prisoners Visiting NYCB Theatre at Westbury, NY 1-30-16 w/ Josh Blue
A big cigar, a glass of fine scotch, and a humorous silver haired gentleman; this is not talking about a family gathering with one’s favorite Uncle. This is talking about one of the funniest, and often raunchy, comedians on the scene today, Ronald Dee White, better known to his fans as Ron White. He has been on the road doing his stand up comedy for over a quarter of a decade; White is a very accomplished comedian. He joined with Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, and Larry The Cable Guy as part of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour from January 2000 through March 2003; a tour which brought the four comedians much success and spawned the release of a successful album as well as follow-up DVDs. Having released several successful solo albums and DVDs as well, his 2003 Drunk In Public album went Gold on the US Charts and his 2013 A Little Unprofessional was nominated for the Best Comedy Album at the 56th Grammy Awards.
Furthermore, White, who has served in the United States Navy, was awarded in 2009 with the Armed Forces Foundation’s prestigious Patriot Award for all of his work in helping to raise awareness and money to help wounded soldiers. What does this all mean? It means Mr. White is one interesting man and exactly why those seeking a good laugh continuously head out to venues when he visits town. That is why not even the bitter cold of Saturday night, on January 30th, at NYCB Theatre at Westbury, NY prevented fans from coming out to see White live. The audience, of mostly twenty through fifty year olds, eagerly entered the venue to get out of the cold to fill the room to capacity.
When the eight o’clock hour hit, it came as a bit of a surprise when the lights went down that Ron White did not walk out on stage. That is because there was an additional treat for the evening in the form of opening act Josh Blue. Blue has done stand up comedy since the early 2000s and was first introduced to mainstream audiences in 2006 as part of the reality television show Last Comic Standing, in which he won that season. He has appeared on many television shows, including The Ellen DeGeneres Show as well as Regis and Kelly and he regularly tours with his stand up comedy show. Blue suffers from Cerebral Palsy, however, he does not let this disease get him down.
Coming out to entertain the audience, Blue put on a funny and animated twenty minute set. Not standing in one place for very long, he took full advantage of the round stage, walking all about to include the full audience in his often visual humor. Most of his set was centered on him cracking joke after joke about his life with his ailment. During his set, Blue joked about living in Colorado and how great that marijuana is legal now. But before the legalization, he said, “I’ve been treating it like it was legal for years, it’s my medicine. I’m so high I don’t even know what disability I have. I’ll tell you though, it is a bitch being blind!” Blue joked about how in life “One door closes and the other one locks behind you” as he has looked for acting jobs, but competing with Michael J Fox is taking any role he has a chance at.
Blue also went on to say that doing his Comedy has brought his disability out to the limelight, but joked how, “That wasn’t my intention” but, “telling jokes is a lot of fun!” Blue mentioned that when he was younger he was a member of the US Paralympic National Soccer Team. When the audience cheered and clapped, he said, “Where were you then, we could have used those 14 claps.” A female audience member blurted something out and Blue responded, “Thank you Sir!” He then went on to joke about how traveling together as a team was interesting, especially in the airports. The audience was cheering and clapping throughout his performance, but as Blue left the stage, they cheered and yelled just a little louder as they gave Blue a standing ovation.
Thereafter, the lights only came up a little, but in less than a minute they were dimmed again and the song “Whipping Post” by The Allman Brothers Band played over the PA system. Midway through the song, a spotlight was shown on Ron White as he walked down the aisle towards the stage. White was holding a cigar in one hand and a drink in the other, but he was also wearing a huge smile. He walked over to the microphone and put his cigar and drink down on a stool that was put on the stage for him. On that stool was also a bottle of alcohol, three-quarters full, assumed to be Scotch.
As his fans cheered him on, White stood there smiling and clapped for them as well. He was looking sharp with his striking silver hair, in his black suit and black dress shirt, minus the tie. He began his performance by asking for another round of applause for Josh Blue, and the audience gladly complied. Then, right off the bat, he started his set with, “Don’t drink and drive folks.” He continued, “That’s what they say. They also say friends don’t let friends drive drunk. Well which one is it? Somebody’s gotta drive!,” starting the audience off with a good laugh. He continued for a little longer on the subject of drinking and about how on the back of his driver’s license, instead of him being an organ donor, it states the organs he needs.
White mentioned his wife, Margo Rey, who is a performer that has been on Broadway. White said they have a lot of gay male dancers as friends. Often those friends that were in relationships wished that they could get married and how ecstatic they were when gay marriage became legal. He went on to say that the best part of being gay was that there are no women there to ruin everything. Then, White announced, for those who did not know, that he is running to be the President in this year’s 2016 election. He is running because he said, “I am not thrilled with my choices!” He discussed how, “Some of them have some really bad ideas, like building a wall between us and Mexico. Don’t you know how good diggers the Mexican’s are?” He then went on to talk about and describe El Chapo Guzman’s elaborate escape tunnel.
White moved on to talk about his deep dislike for geese and how they seem to rule the roads, in groups. He stated how they force drivers “with their beady eyes” to stop for them to cross the road when they could have just flew over. White said, “There are so many dead cats on my street it looks carpeted! But you never see any geese!” He then changed the subject and began to talk about how him and his wife went to Las Vegas not long ago, and while they were there, there was a huge Sex Convention going on. His wife said she wanted to find a “gag gift” for a friend’s upcoming bridal shower and they went into an arena. The arena was packed and all along the walkways were dildo vendors, or as he was told by one of them, they were “personal massage vendors.” He jokingly named a few, and elaborated on the “gag” in “gag gift.” Needless to say, most of this joke is meant for mature audiences only, so leave that open to the imagination.
Keeping the energy level high, he then blurted out, “I just got kicked off of christianmingle.com! Apparently you can’t tell them what you would want to do unto others.” He then joked about his views on God being insinuated as a part of a for-profit company that is run by a Jewish man. White then broached the subject of something that peaked his curiosity. That was his wife going to a spa and bringing home a pamphlet. There were treatments on there he just did not understand, one being “Anal Bleaching.” He then pried his butt cheeks and virtually sat in a tray full of bleach. He then asked, “Is this how they do it! Do they know what color they are going for?” He ended the joke by saying, “Nobody wants to be a white ass, but I guess some people want one!”
Continuing along, White brought the audience back to 1996 with him. He had struggled for many years doing stand-up comedy up till that point in his career. He went on to talk about his close friendship with Jeff Foxworthy and how honored he was to do his first gig with him in December of 1996 in Las Vegas, Nevada. During that run of shows in Las Vegas, Bill Engvall was also doing a show at another venue. He said it was great to see all of their names in lights on a marquee, even if they were different marquees. He then joked about a night all three of them went out drinking together, stating, “It was the best night of my life.” He continued with his memories of later going on tour with the two of them, and Larry The Cable Guy for The Blue Collar Comedy Tour. The audience clapped, White humbly smiled and said, “Thank you for all the Blue Collar albums you bought! I thank you from the bottom of my heart!” After this statement, a good portion of the audience rose from their seats to give White a standing ovation.
Keeping the show lively, a man came from backstage to bring White a fresh drink and a fan yelled out, “Where’s my drink?” White replied, “Actually, this is throat-coat.” He informed the audience that he has to have throat surgery soon and that his doctor actually wanted him to cancel this evening’s performance, to which White said vehemently, and vulgarly, told the doctor he would not. Provoking more cheers from the fans, White held up his glass of throat-coat to the audience. With a big wide grin on his face White then exclaims, “Four states have legalized marijuana for recreational use!” He joked about how it is not legal in Las Vegas, where almost anything else is, he said, “Way to go Nevada!” He then joked more in-depth about the issue as a whole and ended the subject by confessing, “I have a marijuana medical card. I use it to cure myself from my regular marijuana use.”
White then took the audience into his family life. He talked more in-depth about his wife Margo Rey, who he has been married to since 2013. Explaining how he was born in Acapulco, Mexico, her career as a performer, how she is a breast cancer survivor, and about her big, close-knit family. White talked about his eighty-year-old mother getting along great with his mother-in-law and how his mother, “likes to get loaded and gamble.” Chuckling, he then said, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!” He then spoke about his and Rey’s two French Bulldogs, saying, “They look like a pug got raped by a fruit bat.” Then he said, “They are great watch dogs. Not because they bark and keep intruders out, but because they chew and piss all over everything and no burglar wants our stuff!”
Not losing any steam, he moved on to talk a bit about touring for the last twenty-nine years. He thanked the fans, again saying, “Thanks to you!” He was about to walk off the stage, then he stopped, looked at his watch and said, “I have some more time, you wanna stay?” The fans cheered and screamed for him to stay. Some audience members yelled to White and he responded to a few, but one fan asked what kind of scotch he had with him on stage. White responded, “This actually isn’t Scotch, its Tequila, Number Juan Tequila.” The audience settled down once more as White shared his relationship with his brother-in-law, Alex Reymundo, and how they are partners in this tequila business together. This brought White into sharing jokes and talking about good times with friends and drinking this fine tequila.
As the performance came to a close, he joked about coming from a small, as he said, “God forsaken town” of a population of seven hundred people to seeing the world. He whole-heartedly thanked his fans again and thanked them for coming out this evening. Before he left the stage, he took several bows for the standing and cheering crowd. He took his bottle of Number Juan Tequila and held it up high, and said “Thank You” into the microphone one last time. As “Whipping Post” began to play once more, White walked off the stage.
Ron White’s performance was funny and entertaining. For the most part he left his PG-13 content out of this live show and treated the audience to some of his colorfully hilarious mature comedy. Other than him mentioning that he was going in for a throat surgery, his fans would have never had known he was not well as his performance was not affected in any way. White is continuing his tour throughout the United States with dates currently posted through July. He will be making several appearances at the Mirage Theater in Las Vegas during the tour as well. Furthermore, White is running for President of the United States, so get out there and vote. All in all, those looking to have a great time with sidesplitting comedy, definitely be sure to catch one of White’s shows sooner than later.