Is it ever not cliché to say that someone or something puts the “fun” back in “funeral”? Ponder this as we delve into the world of a band that combines the carnival theatricality of My Chemical Romance and Creeper, macabre-loving yucks of Ice Nine Kills, and does it all in a way that is apt to make all those ‘professional’ vocal teachers on YouTube react with fervor.
Atlanta’s The Funeral Portrait—Vocalist Lee Jennings, Guitarists Caleb Freihaut and Cody Weissinger, Bassist Robert Weston, and Drummer Homer Umbanhowar—is all of the above, packaged with a neon green mohawk. Out front, Jennings is clearly a former theater kid, an emphatic Rock-n-Roll preacher, and a dynamic Punk Rocker. A Warped Tour icon in the making, he delivers his soldiers through sets that are as much an homage to the past as they are a reclamation of the present scene.
Although, as far as EPs go, Dark Thoughts, which arrived on August 22, 2025, thanks to Better Noise Music, is literally just that: four versions of its namesake track; not much to get the girlies screaming, not enough to lock in a whole new audience. And yet, for anyone new to their crew, it can serve as a delicious gateway drug, opening the lid of a magical, musical casket of joy.
What the EP displays beautifully is the aesthetic of The Funeral Portraits’ show: a could-be Broadway phenom fronting an Alt Rock group steeped in all the delicious blood and guts of horror. Trying to escape their own heads, where life can be the ultimate fright show, Jennings and co. use one track to prove why they deserve a place on the map… And in your AirPods. (Headphones for us boomers, thank you.)
In a truly bizarre move, the original “Dark Thoughts” is listed as Track 2. At the same time, the “Beyond the Abyss remix” opens the EP with a fever-dream take on the song, showcasing the band’s varying facets, all capped off with Jennings’ commanding vocals. It is NIN violating us with The Funeral Portrait, and we are here for it!
Also, you can say what you will about Mr. Danny Worsnop (Asking Alexandria). Still, he definitely delivers something superb on his version of the song, bringing a raw, bluesy howl to the track that would not be possible from Jennings’ smooth pipes. While in the closing spot, the live version of “Dark Thoughts,” from the band’s hometown digs at the Masquerade in Atlanta, shows the obvious: it’s no recording studio finesse, they really are this scrumptious.
As an EP, it is what it is: not much to make you love or loathe the band, but just enough to whet your appetite. For this, Cryptic Rock gives the Dark Thoughts’ EP 3 of 5 stars. We are waiting for more, more, more over in Suffocate City!
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