The smell of cigarette smoke, a deep male voice telling the raunchiest jokes imaginable, followed by the sound of uncontrollable laughter, along with a gasp now and then, chances are you are at a Andrew Dice Clay show. A veteran stand-up Comic, with a career that dates back nearly four decades, The Diceman is thoroughly proud of being one of America’s most controversial comedians. His brand of comedy has been labeled offensive, raunchy, vile, and raw, but that is just the way he and his fans like it. The first comedian to do two sold out shows at the world famous Madison Square Garden, critics can say what they want about Dice Clay, but they can not question his comic genius.
Beyond stand-up, Dice Clay has done his share of acting through the years in film and television, plus, in 2015, he put it all down on pen and paper, releasing the autobiography The Filthy Truth. Yes, he was over there, but he is over here now in 2017 as he continues to perform in front of sold out crowds across the USA.
Bringing his show close to his hometown of Brooklyn, he came out to Long Island’s beautiful Huntington village to perform three jam-packed shows at The Paramount. Beginning his three day residence at the venue on March 1st, on Friday, March 3rd, the venue filled with fans eager for the show to start as the chatter grew louder and louder before the lights dimmed and the show began.
Coming out on stage to warm the audience up was long-time friend of Dice Clay’s, one who has been touring with him for over twenty-five years, Michael “Wheels” Parise. A perfect pairing, Wheels himself is controversial and anything but politically correct. In fact, midway through his twenty minute set, he even commented, “If you’re offended by anything I say tonight, that’s your insecurity,” but it was just that, a comment, since clearly no one in attendance was offended, continuing to laugh at all his jokes.
Wheels himself is a robust man, but rather than struggling with his weight, he took control of his body and lost over one hundred and fifty pounds. He also has no issue with poking fun at himself as he talked about doing a show in Las Vegas and later losing a sum of $18,000.00 at gambling, but not to worry, he got it all back at the buffet. Through all the jokes, Wheels did have a serious moment, stating, “If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you back?,” a statement which awarded him a huge round of applause. Loving every minute of his set, the crowd was now primed and ready for the main event.
After Wheels introduced The Dice Man, the comic legend walked out on stage, straight over to a chair where his cigarettes and lighter were placed. The fans were screaming and cheering, many up on their feet. Then, Dice Clay lit a cigarette, immediately picked the microphone from the stand and ripped right into the first joke of the evening. He started with saying how he felt Donald Trump stole his act and how he was willing to coach him during his election. Then he transitioned to other topics such as how everything seems to always come back in style, such as girl’s rear ends. How they went from being full, to being skinny, to now they are so big they break the Internet, such as Kim Kardashian’s.
Holding no prisoners, his aim was suddenly taken on a married couple in the first row, a mature man and his voluptuous wife. After establishing that they were married for thirty-seven years, Clay joked, “Yea, I’ve been married for thirty-seven years, but not to the same woman. Oooh!” Now and again he would return to the man, who the audience began to know by the name, Joey. “Joey” was not safe from answering personal questions and he was a very willing participant throughout the rest of the performance.
Then, Dice Clay took the time to look at mortality, in only the way he could, commenting on how the wrong body parts get longer or larger with age. He awaited the chance to ask God why as he said he believes that you get to talk to God before you go on. He also fondly said, “God, he’s a fan, after all he created me!,” a sentiment everyone in the room agreed with, wooing and cheering in response.
Bringing the subject matter back to what he loves most, girls, he joked about how he would do any girl. The Diceman said he does not discriminate, and went into detail about girls he has gotten off of “Jenny Craig’s List” and how they do not just wear jewelry on their necks and ears anymore, but how they “bedazzle” their private parts. However, Clay would never say anything such as private parts, as anyone that knows him, know he certainly used much more colorful language.
Having the room in stitches, before bringing the show to a close, he said, “You’re a great crowd, thank you for coming out. Thanks to fans like you, I have a second season of Dice. Thank you so much!” Finally, before leaving the stage, knowing his dedicated fans had been waiting patiently, he broke into his classic dirty nursery rhymes. Treating everyone to several minutes of rhyme after rhyme, the entire crowd spoke along with him, word for word, including each of his robust “Oooh’s” after each rhyme. Ready to bid farewell, he smiled and waved as all in attendance rose to their feet to give him a standing ovation for another stellar performance.
There is nothing quite like seeing Andrew Dice Clay live. Even after all these years, Dice is still going as strong as ever. His performance was no-holds-barred, he was on his toes, and kept the audience laughing from start to finish. Keep watch because The Diceman is sure to announce more dates soon, and he continues to do what he does best, make people laugh.
Great story. I was there. Second time seeing him and I was happy for the new material. One note: The man’s name wasn’t Joey. Dice calls every guy he makes fun of “Joey”. You can see it in all his shows.